Month: June 2016

Are Your Beliefs About Brexit Holding You Back?

I wrote this article some time ago, but I have decided to re-write it, given that today is the day the people of the UK voted to leave the European Union. Do you think today is the beginning of the end? Do you think the result is based on ‘racist’ views?

If you are reading this from elsewhere then I want to pose these questions: How do you feel about Donald Trump? What’s your stance on immigration? What religion do you believe in? Should humans be monogamous?

All of these questions are questions about your beliefs. My previous ‘belief’ was that I used to consider myself a ‘Type A’ personality- whatever that is (maybe a**hole)? Anytime I upset someone with my brashness or pure coldness, I’d put the experience down to being an ‘alpha kind of guy’. Yes, I know that sounds lame.

Here I am going to show you how your limiting beliefs are preventing you from achieving the life you want to choose.

I spent most of my life in a state of anger

For 15 years of my life, I carried around this rage with me wherever I went. I never acknowledged it was there, but I had a feeling deep inside of me that some part of my personality did not sit right with me. I used to genuinely think I had a useful skill in knowing how to immediately press the right (technically this should be ‘wrong’) buttons to upset someone. I thought this skill was so powerful in arguments, allowing me to always have the last word. Talk about a limiting belief.

Concept of stress and frustration of a businessman with laptop

If I was ever called out on this trait by a room full of classmates, I’d become even more defensiveness. I thought to myself I would always want to keep this skill as it was useful on a rugby pitch or, as one teacher even told me, it would be very useful in business (yes, my parents were paying extortionate fees to a school that taught me my ‘coldness’ would serve me well in business).

Are you excited to create change?

As a society, we have become so fearful of creating change in ourselves. People are willing to change their diets, exercise programs, girlfriends, boyfriends, jobs etc. But, if someone does decide to change themselves they are met by a chorus of ‘you should never have to change!’. Yes, this is another limiting belief. ‘We shouldn’t have to change’. What an insult to our potential greatness.

If we never change, then we will be stuck in diapers with our mother’s wiping our bottoms. So what is preventing you from changing all these areas of your life you are no longer content with? Two words. Limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs hold each and every one of us back. Where did this notion of ‘you shouldn’t have to change’ come from? Yet, we all repeat it. Well, TODAY let’s stop repeating this mantra that belongs to someone else.

If you are to constantly grow, change needs to occur. To quote Einstein, ‘if you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got’.

Can you recognise your own limiting beliefs?

Hopefully, you can see that you need to change to become extraordinary. That’s the reason you are on my site. I applaud you for taking that step.

But, to truly create change, you need to begin recognising all these limiting beliefs. Think back to those questions I asked at the start. Where did those beliefs come from? It is likely they have come from your family, friend, colleagues, marketing campaigns, propaganda… your environment as a whole. Is it a pure coincidence I became a Catholic as a kid or was it more to do with the maternal side of my family having extremely strong ties to the Catholic community going back many generations? Where have yours come from? Are you a parrot, simply regurgitating the previous generation’s viewpoints? Can you truly say that these are your beliefs?

I would like you to write down right now a list of all the beliefs you currently hold. Some might be ‘good’, some might be ‘bad’ (who defines what is good and what is bad? You? Or your parents? Or your government? You get the picture) and try to explore these. Where did they originate from? Were they inherited from your environment? Were they shaped by a past experience?

Can anyone reading this, recall a time in a relationship where they were left hurt? How did this then go on to affect every single relationship afterwards? You took that one experience and entrained your brain that this would now happen every single time in a future relationship. Congratulations, you made a self- fulfilling prophecy! I have done this countless times, using one bad experience to shape every similar experience for years to come!

As soon as you begin recognising and listing these limiting beliefs, you begin to recognise patterns everywhere. We are so easily influenced by external forces. Now you are aware of this you can begin tackling it head on. Visualise these ‘beliefs’ as being snot filled tissues on the floor. The floor is covered in them. As you walk around the room and you come to the next tissue, picture bending down and picking up. This is you recognising the belief and acknowledging it has shaped your life in some way. Now, scrunch it up! Chuck it in the bin! You are no longer limited by that belief. Keep walking around the room throwing away this horrible, snotty little beliefs!

This game becomes rather addictive. Before, you were living life on auto-pilot, with external voices directing you. Now, you are hungry to keep finding more and more of these limiting beliefs in your life. When you come across one, you start getting extremely curious about its origination and can actively decide whether it is your own belief or someone else’s.

Where Does Brexit Fit into This?

My Facebook news feed has quite literally exploded, most of which is full of hatred. People who voted ‘remain’ are now calling those that voted ‘exit’ racist, which I find incredibly ironic. If you can’t respect someone enough to have a view or perspective that differs to that of your own then you are yourself, discriminating.

That being said, what limiting beliefs about the result do you currently have? Do you think Bruce Willis is needed to save us from Armageddon? Do you think the economy is going to crash? Do you think anyone that isn’t fully British (is there anyone that actually is) is going to be lynched?

Maybe these will happen. Maybe they won’t. But believing in them is going to impact how you experience life. If you can let go of all the emotion tied to the result and instead look at it as an opportunity then you will begin to shift from reactive to a proactive state. Whilst you are focussing all your energy and attention to the downside, there are some wise people out there who are only focussing on the upside. In every situation, there is an opportunity to grow.

Sure, have your day of feeling sorry for yourself, but it will not change facts. But I challenge you right now, to ditch your beliefs about Brexit and instead look to how you can create a better life in the result.

Personally, I woke up calm, refreshed just like any other day. I haven’t got myself into a negative state that would ruin one of the sunniest mornings I have seen for weeks. Wouldn’t you like to find this calm in the chaos also?

Summary

I could go on for days about limiting beliefs, and I will talk about it extensively in ‘The Better Me Program’ in the member’s area. For now, make your lists and bring it into your line of focus. If it is out of your line of sight you can never tackle the problem head on. Get excited to break these beliefs apart as it is going to play a major role in your breakthrough.
Please put any of your limiting beliefs in the comments below!